Eulogy

The organ played softly, a somber song of grief and melodies so heavy it made breathing difficult. I stood at the lectern, my hands shaking. Looking down I saw the speech I had prepared, fitting entirely on an index card. That wouldn’t be sufficient. Then again, would any speech ever be enough when speaking on the value and experiences a life held? I gripped the edges of the lectern and inhaled slowly, steadying myself. The music echoed throughout the pews, and the walls sent the song right back at me, compounding my sorrow. I had to say something.

“He was a good man.” I started. “The best of us, to be certain.” How disingenuous. Did I really write that? I crumpled the note card and put it in my pocket. With renewed determination I looked out, and began again.

“He was human. Full of flaws, yes, but equally filled with compassion and goodness. Never have I known a man so willing to give every cent he owned, all of his worldly possessions, and even his own home to a friend in need. Inversely, he was paranoid and distrustful of strangers. Don’t let that fool you, however, for he would go just as much out of his way to ensure they left his sight with a positive memory at the least. All while combating the knowledge that they would kill him for a better life.” There we go, this sounded more real, more honest, more full of effort.

“He cared so strongly for everything and everyone that it often instilled within him a burning rage that no justice could extinguish. He would have burned the world to ash if it meant one wrong was righted, and he felt this way about everything. His passion knew no end, and neither did his love for his fellow human.” Sniffling, excellent.

“He went to such lengths for me every day. Truthfully I don’t think I would be standing here today were it not for the depth of his actions. He cared for me and protected me, yes, but he also nurtured me and pushed me to be better than myself. Better even, than him.”

I breathed in deep, and let out a slow breath. This was getting easier. “He was more than just a good person, however. He loved nature and art just as much as he loved all of humanity. More often than not you could find him staring into the woods, or cooing over an insect crawling along the driveway. He decorated his life with memories of the natural world, and would have turned himself into the sun were it possible.”

“And art, goodness he loved creating. All of the arts, really. Writing, drawing, music, anything that could draw out the mind’s poison and turn it into something beautiful meant everything to him. The worlds he held within him were as expansive as the universe we inhabit today. He knew beauty beyond compare, within others, within himself, and within the mind.”

I sighed. “He never got to raise a family though. I think he would have liked that quite a bit. The ability to pass that love onto a child that could fill his shoes after a day like today. Though, I don’t think he realized he accomplished just as much with the impact he had on everyone he met.”

I stared out, dissociating. “Oh… I imagine I should wrap this up.”

A tear made its way down my cheek and I walked over to the stereo playing the church’s organ music and turned it off. Silence.

Looking out, my gaze was not returned. The pews were empty. I smiled sadly and walked over to the casket. “Not a dry eye in the house my friend.” I looked down, my reflection looking back at me. “Rest in peace.”